


The Devil's Breath

by jesminahwrites



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Established Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Hurt Louis, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Memory Loss, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-08-30 01:27:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8513470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesminahwrites/pseuds/jesminahwrites
Summary: Louis just wants to enjoy a night out with his mates before Harry gets home and they hide themselves away for a while. When his mates ditch him, he finds some new friends for the night. They might not be a cool as he thinks though, and a hangover is the least of his problems the following day.





	1. One

The club is shit. His mates are off flirting like dickheads and making out with girls they’ve managed to pull, having hardly given him a backwards glance as they abandoned him. It’s alright though; some lads have invited him over to their corner and are buying him drinks to “congratulate you on your kid”. They’re great lads, just the kind of fun, energetic people Louis needed to be surrounded by, and they’ll replace his mates well for tonight. Still, he inwardly rolls his eyes at the congratulations. He’s been over this charade since before it even began its only becoming shittier as time crawls on, he wonders if they’d congratulate him if he and Harry had a child. He accepts the drinks though, it’s not like he can just go “oh actually the whole thing is a lie and the only baby I’ve got is 5’11 with an amazing voice and an enormous…er, heart, and he’s coming home tomorrow!”. He’s never one to shy away from a tray of free beers and Tequila shots either. Actually, he’s beginning to feel sort of weird. Maybe he’ll slow down for the rest of the night… Well, maybe just one more round, then he’ll stick to beer. Yeah. Good idea. Now where’s his mate with his next drink?

***

The first thing that happens is he suddenly notices just how tired he is, his whole body is aching and he just wants to go to bed and sleep for a year. The second thing is that upon wrapping his arms around himself as he feels the cold wind on his skin, Louis becomes aware that he is dressed nothing but his pants. If he weren’t so exhausted he would panic, but he just hasn’t the energy. People are starting to appear on the track now, it must be early to mid-morning, Louis thinks, but how the fuck did he end up here? In fact, while on that topic, where exactly is “here”? And where in God’s name are his clothes? The morning joggers are giving him strange, concerned looks, and okay, yeah, he might be panicking now. He feels hungover, or maybe still drunk, not to mention dizzy, and just.. Fuck. Maybe going out clubbing last night wasn’t as great an idea as it had seemed last night. Going off of the way he’s feeling, he must have really outdone himself. Where the fuck is Oli anyway? Some friend he is, letting Louis drunkenly disappear into the wilderness in the middle of night. Fucking knob. Louis' supposed be at home tidying up and throwing out all of the empty takeaway boxes before Harry gets back. Jesus, Harry is probably really worried about him. He might even be cross with him. Louis should really call him.  
Louis opens his mouth as he approaches a jogger (in the least threatening way a half-naked man can approach a woman alone in the park), but his throat is so scratchy he can hardly get the words out. Instead of fearing for her own safety, the woman is immediately worried for Louis’, and he’s incredibly thankful for that, as the faint feeling is quickly getting worse.  
“Shit! Are you okay?” She asks quickly, taking in Louis’ appearance  
“I don’t.. I, ehm..” He mumbles, breathing harder than he previously realised. He can’t even answer her for God’s sake, doesn’t really know the answer. Jesus, he feels poorly. Suddenly it’s like the contrast has been turned all the way up on the colours surrounding them, and then the darkness starts closing in and he knows what this is. He reaches out for the woman but misses as he starts to go down. Unconsciousness is setting in, but that’s okay. He can sleep now, that’s all he needs, just a nice long sleep. Things will be better when he wakes up, he’s sure of it. Maybe he’s already dreaming anyway, he does tend to have strange dreams after a little too much Tequila.


	2. Two

Shit. He’s in hospital. Why is he in hospital?! On second thoughts, he feels like he’s been hit by a fucking aeroplane, or at the very least a bus, so maybe that’s why.  
The grey haired nurse pottering about in his room notices that he’s now awake and gives him a smile.  
“Good afternoon Sir, you’re at Southern California Hospital. I’m Jill, how are you feeling?” She asks brightly, approaching his bedside, somewhat cautious in her movements, but still smiling.  
“Sore,” Louis croaks, sitting up as much as he can “and confused. How did I get here?”  
Jill pulls out a clipboard, reading though it. “We’ll get to that in just a moment Sir,” she tells him, still flipping through the pages “now you were brought in this morning, a young lady explained that you fell unconscious while speaking to her in Griffith Park. She said she believed your name to be Louis Tomlinson, but as you had no ID we were unable to confirm. Is that true?”  
Louis just stares dumbly at her for a second. “That’s ehm, that’s me, yeah. I’m Louis Tomlinson”  
Jill nods and writes that down. It’s then that two police officers enter the room, and her smile turns sympathetic; she moves a little closer and gently takes hold of Louis’ hand.  
“Officers,” she greets, ‘this is Mr Louis Tomlinson” and oh God. Fuck. What did he do? He likes to cause a bit of trouble every now and then, but usually only the fun kind! Jesus, it looks like he may have actually proper fucked up this time. Or maybe not.. they don’t really look that angry. Their expressions are a fairly equal match to Nurse Jill’s actually, and funnily enough that doesn’t make him feel any better.  
The two officers introduce themselves as Detectives actually, Detectives Erica Lambert, and Sarah Johnson, and Louis is thankful that they seem friendly. Once all of the introductions and formalities are finished with, Detective Lambert jumps right into questioning him.  
“Louis do you have any memory of having sex with any other males in the last twenty four hours?” She asks, and this has his full attention, his eyes wide and he scrambles to get his words out in answer.  
“No. No. My, ehm, my boyfriend he, he’s been away for two weeks so..” he trails off, feeling a little embarrassed to be discussing his sex life with three strangers, including an somewhat elderly lady. "Do you remember who you might have been drinking with last night?" Lambert continues, and Louis shakes his head a little. "I went out with a few of the lads, but, i don't know. I must have had a bit to drink, i, er, i don't remember anything after getting to the club" Louis tries to explain, but the more he thinks about it all, the less it makes sense.“Why?” He asks, not sure he truly wants to hear the answer that he’s already hurtling towards in his own mind.  
“Sweetheart, due to your condition when you arrived here a rape kit was carried out. As was a drug test.” Louis’ breath hitches and he waits for Jill to continue. “I’m sorry to have to say this but, your injuries, while not serious, suggest that you were sexually assaulted. As well at that, DNA from two different males was found during the kit. Results from your drug test have shown traces of Scopolamine, a drug that robs victims of their free will and causes amnesia….” The detective continues to explain his circumstances, but Louis isn’t listening anymore, can’t listen. Sexual assault she said. Oh, God. He was raped. No. No that’s not right, surely, it can’t be. Things like this just don’t happen to people like him. He hardly ever gets totally blackout drunk, and he always goes out with a group of mates, trustworthy ones for God’s sake, not just any tossers. He’s scouring his memory for the night before, he knows the Detective said he’d been given a memory loss drug but there has to be something hidden away in there. Who was he drinking with? Was it someone new? Someone he didn’t know? He’s such an idiot, what will his family and his friends think if they find out? Oh, God, what if the public does? He should have been more fucking careful-  
“Mr Tomlinson? Louis?” Detective Johnson speaks, pulling him out of his head. Louis looks back up at her, apologising, and urging her to continue. “Louis you’re going to need to have some tests done, to check for any sexually transmitted infections that may have been passed on to you, but once that’s done, Nurse Jill here says you can go home. Is there anybody we can call for you?” Louis nods, his eyes beginning to tear as the weight of his situation settles on him. He won’t cry though, not here, not in front of people. He’s stronger than that.. He should have been stronger than that. Should have eaten more that day, should’ve drank less, should’ve.. shouldn’t have been so weak, he thinks, and a single tear escapes him but is quickly wiped away. No, none of that. No more weakness from now on, not in front of others.  
Detective Johnson prompts him again, “son, who would you like us to call?” she asks.  
“Harry,” he whispers, pulling his knees up and hugging them, making him appear smaller despite himself “please call Harry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Lou :( Seems a bit fillery, i know, but we are heading somewhere i swear. Leave me your thoughts/feelings/etc and thanks for reading xx


	3. Chapter 3

Harry has never broken so many road laws in his life. He’s honestly not sure how he hasn’t been arrested, but that isn’t what matters right now. The love of his life is in hospital, suffering from an unimaginable trauma, and he just needs to get there and be with him already! His eyes water and his lip trembles just a little as he thinks about his baby all alone in his hospital room. Louis has always been the one who looks after everyone around him; he is such a beautiful and caring person, and Harry’s stomach is in knots at the thought of someone taking advantage of that and hurting him.

When he finally arrives at Southern California hospital he just sits for a minute, alone in his car. He’s dying to see Louis, of course he is, but he needs a moment first. He needs to take a few deep breaths and compose himself, doesn’t want walk through the door and just crumble right as Louis needs him most.  
He blinks and wipes away any evidence that he’s been crying, locks his car, and just runs.

***

Louis doesn’t notice him at first, and he just looks so damn small curled up on himself in the bed. Harry’s heart is aching at the sight, but he needs to be strong now.  
“Lou?” he announces himself just loud enough for his boyfriend to hear “I’m here baby”  
When he sees Louis’ face though, his heart breaks all over again. His beautiful blue eyes are rimmed red and filled with tears that are threatening to spill over onto his cheeks, his bottom is lip bitten raw. The worst thing by far though, is the way he avoids Harry’s eyes, the look of guilt, and fear, and sadness. Harry rushes to his side and pulls him softly into his embrace, Louis’ head buried in his chest.  
“Oh, my Lou,” he whispers “it’ll be okay baby, I’m here, I’ve got you. I love you so, so much.”  
Louis doesn’t reply, just nods and hugs Harry back, inhaling deeply the safe, familiar scent of his boyfriend. He trusts Harry more than anyone else on the planet, even his Mum, but he will not cry in front of him, not anymore. This is going to be the new him; tough, resilient. No more sensitive, flamboyant Louis. He’s going to change. No one is ever going to be able to touch him ever, ever again.  
The tension never leaves Louis’ muscles as Harry cuddles him in the middle of the hospital bed, waiting for his test results. They come back negative, Harry kisses his cheek and smiles. "Soon," he tells Louis "We'll be home soon".

After Louis has been discharged they make their way home, back through the endlessly infuriating LA evening traffic. Louis has still barely uttered a word Harry and it’s really bothering him. He’s not angry of course; it’s just that his boyfriend is almost never silent. He’s always been a little chatterbox, giving and receiving as much attention as he possibly can. Even when he’s feeling hopelessly miserable, he’s still at least a little talkative, and while Harry understands that what has happened is far worse than the usual things that might upset Louis, he still can’t help but feel at a total loss.

***

“Babe?” Harry calls as he emerges from the ensuite “I’ve run you a bath, okay?” Again Louis just nods, staring out through a bedroom window as he watches a squirrel playing about in the big oak tree outside. The painkillers he was given at the hospital are starting wear off, but the bath should help to at least relieve some of the tension in his aching muscles.  
“Do you want me to join you, or would you rather I stayed outside?” Harry asks, taking in Louis standing next to the bath, still fully clothed, with his arms wrapped self-consciously around him. He doesn’t lift his eyes from the ground as he mumbles a “stay outside”.  
Harry is disappointed, but he wants Louis to feel safe and comfortable, so he does as he’s told and gives him a chaste kiss on the forehead as he exits the room, closing the door behind him.

Once he’s alone again, Louis undresses and turns to look in the mirror. It’s only now that he is able to really look at himself and take in his appearance. God, he looks awful. No wonder Harry is being so weird and not touching him like he normally would. He covered in bruises; small finger shaped ones are littered across his neck, arms, hips, thighs…he turns around and sure enough they’re on his bum too. There are grazes on his hands, knees and elbows from where he’s obviously tripped and fallen at some point, though he doesn’t know when, or where.  
He looks away quickly as the sight overwhelms him, and climbs into the bath. The water is the perfect temperature and there are bubbles that smell of Mandarin and Sandlewood. There’s a cup of chamomile tea on the ledge and Louis takes a deep breath before sipping at it. Harry is so good to him; that thought alone is enough for the tears to return to his eyes. He loves him so much. He just hopes he doesn’t leave him for someone better, someone who doesn’t make him wait outside while they bathe so he won’t see their bruises, someone he can touch when or however he wants without apprehension. He’s wracked with sobs before he even registers wetness on his cheek. “I’m sorry Harry, “he whispers “please don’t leave me”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, please leave any thoughts/feels/comments you have xx


	4. Chapter 4

In some ways, Louis has improved in the last couple of weeks. He’s becoming more talkative again; he leaves the house by himself, does the shopping, and catches up with mates. He insists that he’s fine, really, and that as he has absolutely no memory of what happened. He is perfectly happy to just move on, and he definitely does not need therapy thank you very much. While Harry would agree that Louis is indeed beginning to feel better, he knows that he’s bullshitting. The smaller boy gets so upset that Harry won’t touch him like he used to, but then when he does try to, he panics. Harry knows this is something he can’t fix alone, he can’t just keep going and back and forth between making his boyfriend feel unattractive, and feel afraid, but Louis refuses to go to therapy for the time being, so he guesses that’s just how it’s going to be for a while.

Still, despite all of that, there has been some progress; the couple are cuddled up in each other on the couch at the moment, watching Grease. It’s such a lovely, simple moment between them, both of them so comfortable in the others’ embrace. Harry feels more at peace than he has in a while, and he can tell the soft boy wrapped up in his arms does too.

Louis’ mum has just left after having spent four days with them. She would have come to stay sooner but Louis just hadn’t been ready to have her around straight away; he loves his mum, but he was afraid that she might see just how broken and vulnerable he was. Jay would be proud of her son almost no matter what he did, but Louis really doesn’t think she’d treat him the same ever again if she saw him in the state he sometimes gets himself in when he’s alone.   
It was hard having her around at the start; Louis didn’t want to talk about the incident or his feelings about it, and Jay was having a hard time staying composed and tears free. It was hard for her to see her sweet little boy so closed off and obviously hurting. Louis had always come to her with any problem he had, he’d always sought her counsel no matter what the problem was. The big wall he had put up wasn’t looking like falling down quickly this time though and to say that was concerning was a very big understatement. She managed to put on a brave face though, and so did he, and so they made it through.  
It was a relief when she went back home. It was one less person for Louis to have to keep his shit together in front of, and one less person talking to him like he was about to fall apart in front of their very eyes. 

Cuddling a little further into Harry’s chest, Louis lets out a sigh and allows himself to relax a little. He’s still a little afraid that if he keeps acting like such a headcase when they’re having intimate moments like this, Harry might just up and leave. He pushes those thoughts out of his head for now though, they only make it harder to act normal.   
He manages to trick himself into getting comfortable enough to start drifting off, doesn’t even fight it when his eyes start to close, he knows he can trust his boyfriend to keep him safe, at least for now.

*** 

Harry has managed to carry his sleeping boyfriend upstairs and into bed without waking him, and is just sitting next to him on his side, holding his hand, when he hears the doorbell. He considers ignoring it for a moment, but when it sounds again, Louis stirs a little, so he presses a light kiss to his forehead and makes his way out of the room, closing to door softly behind.   
His pace quickens as the person at the door rings the bell again, if they disturb his boy’s sleep he might just kill them.   
He smiles when he finds Niall and Liam on his doorstep, but that is immediately wiped from his face when they don’t smile back.  
“Why the bloody hell haven’t you been answering your phone?!” Liam demands and Harry is taken aback.  
“I’m great thanks Liam, how’re you? We were watching a movie so I put it on silent” he hisses “and Louis is finally managing some peaceful sleep so keep your bloody voice down. Why are you here?”  
“Something’s happened,” Niall tells him “we need to talk”.  
Harry nods quickly and lets them in, leading them into the living room to sit. “Did you want some tea or something?” Harry asks his friends, suddenly not sure how he should be behaving.  
“No thanks mate,” Liam answers, “how about we grab a seat yeah?”  
The tallest boy does as suggested and sits on the couch, feeling a bit ill as he prepares himself for whatever news they’re about to give. He’s not stupid or optimistic enough to think that’s it anything good.  
They sit in silence for a moment, neither of the other two boys really wanting to say what they have to say.   
“Go on then,” he urges, looking at them expectantly, “spit it out, please”  
Liam and Niall look at each other and then back to Harry.  
“Mate..” Liam begins, “a video has surfaced of Louis, and it’s all over the internet and it’s..” trails off, not wanting to ever have to finish the sent. Quietly, Niall finishes it for him.  
“It’s from the night he was hurt Harry, the disgusting bastards fucking filmed it”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are not going well for little Loubear at all, are they?   
> Hope you're enjoying (if that is really the right word) the pain though.  
> This was written over a few days where i worked full time on about seven hours sleep all up, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes... I'm just really damn tired.   
> Anyway, thank you for reading, and please feel free to comment with any thoughts/feelings/(constructive) criticisms you may have.  
> I'm off to sleep for 84 years now xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features the video footage of the night Louis was assaulted and it honestly hurt my heart and soul to write it. While i've not made it too graphic, as that is not what i'm about and i certainly do not wish to perpetuate rape fantasy/culture/romanticisation in any way, it may be triggering to some. So, if this is something that may bother you, you can just wait for the next chapter and everything will still make sense.

The night of the incident..

_Louis is getting along so well with his Sean, Matt, Eli and Alex, that they’ve invited him back to their apartment to continue partying. Eli has been making weird and amazing drinks for everyone, and Louis’ having the absolute time of his life with his new friends, fuck Oli and the rest._

_At around 3am Matt gets his phone out and starts filming._

_“So we’re here at home partying with fucking Louis Tomlinson from One Direction!” the man recording laughs as the camera pans to the small British boy sitting with the others on the couch, all faces but his are blurred “Louis say hello!”_

_“Oi Oi” Louis calls out and giggles, before downing his drink. He looks drunk and a little dishevelled, his jumper sliding down his shoulder._

_“I think we should show young Louis here some fun, boys, what do you think?” There’s a slight edge to his voice, but Louis doesn’t seem to notice._

_“Thought y’already were Matt, mate, ’m a bit ‘ffended” He teases, the slur and his accent making him making him slightly harder to understand._

_The boys sitting around him are all laughing, but just like before, there’s a hint of something sinister behind it._

_“Stand up,” the first man says, and Louis does as he’s told “now give us a kiss”_

_Louis snorts at the request “sorry lad, ’m afraid ’m taken” he laughs._

_A pale boy grabs him by the jaw and hair then, pulling him into a crushing kiss. Louis takes a second to react, but soon gets his hands between their chests and shoves them away as hard as he can, wobbling from the force of it._

_“Fuckin watch y’self, pal” he says angrily, looking around for his shoes and jacket “I think I should go home”_  
_When he turns to pick up his belongs though he’s grabbed roughly by the arm._

_“Now Louis, that was rude, apologise to Alex” the blonde says, the smile on his face contrasting heavily with the tone of his voice, and Alex looks to Louis expectantly._

_Louis scoffs at them, obviously attempting to conceal the fear that he is beginning to feel._  
_“Y’can all go ‘n fuck y’selves, ’m fuckin’ leavin” he tries unsuccessfully to yank his arm free “let go o’ me Eli, I swear”_

_Eli keeps holding on just as tightly though, and neither he nor the other boys look anything more than amused and a little inconvenienced. He holds him still and uses his free hand to stroke Louis’ cheek lightly._  
_“_

_You can’t leave until we show you the secret ingredient in your last drink,” he chuckles and Louis just stares at him “now get on your knees, please” Louis tries again to pull away, but he’s too far gone for there to be any real strength behind it. He looks around at the other boys in fear and disbelief as he continues to struggle. Eli loses his patience “I said get on your fucking knees!’” he shouts, easily pulling him closer again._

_Louis does as he’s told, fear and confusion all over his pretty face. He goes to stand back up, but when he’s yelled at again he stays down._  
_The boys, who are now all crowding around him, are all laughing. Hands reach down to ruffle and tug at his hair, and stroke his face._

_“Pretty cool isn’t it?” Sean asks rhetorically “you’re going to do exactly what you’re told tonight Loulou, no matter how much you don’t want to”_  
_There’s the sound of zippers and Louis is told to open his mouth. He shakes his head and tries to turn away, but the hands on him hold him still._

_“Silly boy, taking drinks from strangers and going home with them, tsk tsk”_

_“What would your mummy say?”_

_“What would your boyfriend say, hm?”_

_“Open your fucking mouth!”_

_Louis opens his mouth, despite himself, and Sean forces himself in. Hands grip his hair tightly and force him down, causing him to choke. A voice warns him what will happen if he can’t keep his teeth covered, or decides to bite down. There are tears streaming down his face now and he screws up his eyes. The boys each take turns at his mouth, and he hardly puts up a fight, the drug has taken too much of his free will away from him. It doesn’t matter how much his head protests, or how much he tries to fight to effects, he obeys all commands._  
_His pain in his jaw is so intense he feels like it could be dislocated, and his scalp is on fire from the constant rough pulling._

_The boys eventually grow bored of his mouth and pull away for a moment._

_“You love sucking cock don’t you baby?” Alex asks and Louis shakes his head, crying softly, but Alex won’t have it, and roughly pulls him up. He slams him back down on the couch, climbing on top of him. “Tell me you loved it!” he screams in his face._

_“I loved it!” Louis cries out, shaking and turning his face away. He clenches his eyes shut again._

_“Good boy,” Alex coos, and begins toying with the hem of Louis’ shirt. “Now let’s see what’s under these clothes..”_

_Louis chokes out a “no” and struggles against him, trying his hardest. “No, no, no, no, no, no. Fuck, please, no” he begs._

_All of his pleas are breath wasted, as the men all easily ignore him in favour removing his clothes. They take their time undressing him, clearly enjoying the way he writhes in fear beneath them as more and more skin is uncovered._

_Bruises are pressed and sucked into his skin as Alex prepares the small boy’s body for them. He does his best to get seemingly positive reactions from Louis as he works his fingers inside. Although maybe protesting as much as he can, Louis’ body betrays him as it reacts to the stimulation._

_Once they deem him ready, they all have their turn in not only taking their own pleasure from him, but also forcing climaxes from the crying, shaking boy until he’s barely clinging on to consciousness._

_The boys panic, and the last footage before the video ends is Louis being pushed out the window, onto the fire escape, and locked outside._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, i hope that while this was not a happy chapter, you still got something out of reading it. I'm sorry it took so long; between uni and family, things have been really hectic, but it's up, and its not awful (i don't think lol)! So i'm reasonably happy. Please feel free to leave any thoughts, comments, or constructive criticisms.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a work in progress and my first fic in a super long time. It's based on these dreams i've been having which aren't exactly lovely and i'm hoping putting them out there will help me. I promise it won't all be doom and gloom though. I don't have a beta or anything currently, so please forgive any little typos and such. Please give me your thoughts/feelings/whatnot xx


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